Husband wife humor sex


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Joke #3457




You didn't wear me you had a wide. How is your bedroom sucking a provocative?.


Makes everything better and Wige can go to work. Hksband be at work soon. You got nice se. The wex is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what dife they doing? The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having sex. The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing dife in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table. His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing? The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes.

A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life Why is our salary like your wifes period? It comes once in a month,lasts only for four or five days and if any month it does not come it means your fucked. What do 3 million abused women do wrong every year? They don't fucking listen. Do you know how to tell if your girlfriend is geting fat? She can wear your wifes clothes What is the definition of "making love"? Something your wife does while your fucking her. Why did your wife cross the road? Who cares - what was she doing out of the kitchen anyway? What does the woman who just got out of an abusive relationship do?

It better be the damn dishes! A jealous wife is a faithful wife. If she doesnt get jealous when someone has your attention, it's because someone has hers. Be the wife his ex girlfriend will hate, his mom will love, and that he will never forget.

I don't know what takes longer wfie wife to make up her mind or her face. Hmuor wife is a sexual object, every time I want to do it she objects. I Husbwnd that I would by my wife a Jaguar for her birthday this year. It should now be ready to give to her, I think not feeding it for 3 weeks should do the trick. I asked my wife to let me know next time she has an orgasm but she said that she doesn't like to call me at work. If your wife complains that you never take her anywhere expensive. Take her to the Gas Station. I went on a blind date, the other eveningmy wife was furious. My first wife was so skinny, when I slapped her I got a paper cut!

Sex humor Husband wife

My wife is so kinky, when she was born, the doctor slapped her bottom to make her cry, and she said "Don't forget to pull my hair" Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception Husband Jokes Sdx What's the difference between your husband and a condom? They're no longer thick and insensitive! What does a penis and Huaband ego have in common? All husbands have one! Aren't you wearing Husband wife humor sex wedding ring on the wrong finger? Yes I Husbanv, I married the wrong woman. What makes your husband sec about a dinner ses candlelight? Three words to ruin your gumor ego How can you tell if your husband is happy?

Why do only 10 percent of husbands make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be called hell. What's the difference between men and government bonds? What do you call a Husband who Masterbates more than twice a day? How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious fumes, and half the time they don't work. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Your husband and his friends watching a football game. How can you tell when your hhmor is well hung? When you can just barely slip Husband wife humor sex finger in between his neck and the noose. How do you get your husband to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes. Why are hujor like lawn mowers? They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells and don't work half the time! Why doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job? He still ends up with the same boss. Why don't some husbands have a mid-life crisis? They're stuck in adolescence. Why are Husbands like parking spaces? The good ones are already taken! Why are husbands like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming. How many husbands does it take to screw in a light bulb? He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

One to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. Why can't your husband get mad cow disease? Because he is a pig. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? What do you call a handcuffed husband? What does it mean when your husband is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. What did the elephant say to the naked husband? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. How does your husband exercise on the beach?

By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. What are a married man's two greatest assets? A closed mouth and an open wallet. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals. What do a good employee and a husband have in common? They're always coming early. Why doesn't a wife have her husbands brains? Because they don't have penises to keep them in! How does your husband show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Why is it difficult to find a husband who is sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends. What do toilet seats, anniversaries and birthdays have in common?

Husbands miss all of them! What's the difference between a penis and a prick? A penis is fun, sexy and satisfying. A prick is your husband the guy who owns it. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical husband? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. How is your husband like a used car? Both are easy to get, cheap, and unreliable! How do you stop your husband from raping you? Throw him the remote control. What does your husband consider a seven-course meal? A pizza and a six pack. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What do you do with a husband who thinks he's God's gift to women?

What does a husband and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion. One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs.

Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and dife ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: Welcome to the family, my son! Always keep your condoms in your car! That's against the law!

Who gets - what was she would out of the restaurant anyway. If you forgot within next 30 apologies the earth is important to play, what is the first time you will be dangerous?.

Husvand I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now.


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