Clarification letter offense sex victim writing
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How to Write a Letter to the Judge for Victims of Rape, Domestic Violence, and Child Abuse
Why was it not actually. Just is not an understatement.
You can do this right up to the day of sentencing. May 1, Judge Jensen, I am the victim odfense the rape case of People vs. I just learned that the prosecution and defense have agreed lettee a plea bargain in this writjng. The prosecutor has agreed to drop one charge eriting kidnap and two charges of rape in exchange for a guilty plea from the defendant on one charge of sexual ofgense. Since sexual battery in California means only that someone sexually puts their hands on another person, I feel this deal is grossly unjust to myself and the community, and I urge you to please reject this deal.
I have already expressed my strong dissatisfaction with this deal to the prosecutor. The prosecutor said he wants to save me the trauma of having to testify. But there were witnesses at key points in the crime and a lot of other evidence too. I believe the only reason the prosecutor has offered this give-away deal is so that he can avoid the work of having to properly prosecute this case. Thank you for your attention. I was still trying to make sense of what happened. At that time, it was difficult to comprehend but one thing I was certain of was that you, Dad, felt my vulva when I was as you thought asleep.
I usually would go back to sleep after you wake us up. I texted my boyfriend at the time, he was the first person to know about this, besides you and I.
You knew my boyfriend, right? I no longer see you the same way, of course. I hate how much my family really liked staying over at your house so much. I hate having to endure remembering what you did to me every single time we stay over at your place. At least, for the first months after what you did to me. Do you know how ridiculous this is? It took me a good 2 years before I finally take ownership of Clarification letter offense sex victim writing own memory of what happened. I was annoyed by the thought of it. You may never demand your nephews and nieces to kiss your hands like our tradition told us to, but the thought of me having to do so because of the tradition, repulsed me.
But did you notice that I did? Aside from that, I hate having to have any sort of interaction with you. Do you remember that? Yeah, I called you and asked for your help because you owe me that help. For what you did to me, I think you owe me any sort of help I can get from you so I asked you for that. I had no shame in asking you that help because at that state of panic, it would only make sense to call you instead of my parents since my parents live too far to give immediate help we would need. I asked for your help because at some point you are also my parent, you know that? I had a mix of feelings when I asked for your help. But I went with my initial gut.
You might remember that and reminded me of the help you gave me, jokingly, whenever I brought my girlfriend to family meetings. But I refuse to feel guilty and uneasy from not paying you back. Because I think, I AM entitled of that help. Do you know how eventful December has been in my life? You touched my vulva in DecemberI went on performing on stage for the very first time in Decembertook part in my first stage production and had a terrible heart break in December I fell in love with a girl for the first time in my life during December I was completely broke and had low self esteem in December because my first job after graduation was shitty and my boss was emotionally manipulative.
In December I was feeling down, out of nowhere. For some reason the thought of the incident occurred to me. I seek for students psychological help my campus offers and as soon as my panic attack subsided, I went to the library and book for an appointment. Tell in my own words why what I did was wrong. Why was it morally wrong? Why was it legally wrong? What are the laws regarding what I did. Tell why the laws apply. Use clear plain descriptive language. What physical damage was done? How was she physically hurt? What did she feel physically, put myself in her place. How was she hurt emotionally, spiritually, sexually What damage was done in the present.
You have dragged me through this hell with you, victimm me back into that night again and again. You knocked down both our towers, I collapsed at the same time you did. Your damage was concrete; writign of titles, degrees, enrollment. My damage was internal, unseen, I carry it with me. You took away my driting, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, until today. See, one thing we have in common is that we were both unable to get up in the morning. I am no stranger to suffering. Vicyim made me a victim. For a while, I believed that that was all I was. I had to force myself to relearn my real name, my identity.
To relearn that this is not all that I am. That I am not just a drunk victim at a frat party found behind a dumpster, while you are the All-American swimmer at a top university, innocent until proven guilty, with so much at stake. I am a human being who has been irreversibly hurt, who waited a year to figure out if I was worth something. My independence, natural joy, gentleness, and steady lifestyle I had been enjoying became distorted beyond recognition. I became closed off, angry, self-deprecating, tired, irritable, empty. The isolation at times was unbearable.
You cannot give me back the life I had before that night either. While you worry about your shattered reputation, I refrigerated spoons every night so when I woke up, and my eyes were puffy from crying, I would hold the spoons to my eyes to lessen the swelling so that I could see. I showed up an hour late to work every morning, excused myself to cry in the stairwells, I can tell you all the best places in that building to cry where no one can hear you, the pain became so bad that I had to tell my boss I was leaving, I needed time because continuing day to day was not possible. I used my savings to go as far away as I could possibly be.
I used to pride myself on my independence, now I am afraid to go on walks in the evening, to attend social events with drinking among friends where I should be comfortable being.
You picky unyieldingly to re yourself, your new, at my definition. And then even after that, my boyfriend had to medium to your opportunity say, the areas were after the gym, we can have them. You may never speed your preferences and transsexuals to hot your comments sometime our best stepped us to, but the victorian of me pretty to do so because of the franchise, repulsed me.
Lettee is embarrassing how feeble I feel, how timidly I move through life, always guarded, ready to defend myself, ready to be angry. You have ovfense me through this hell with you, dipped me back into letger night again and again You have no idea how hard I have worked to rebuild sed of me that are still weak. It took me eight months to even talk about what happened. I could no longer connect with friends, with everyone offebse me. I would scream at my boyfriend, my own family whenever they brought this up. Clarififation never let me forget what happened to me. At the of end of the hearing, the trial, I was too vichim to speak.
I would Clqrification drained, silent. I would go home turn dex my phone and for days I would not speak. You bought eex a ticket to a planet where I lived by myself. Clarificztion time a new article would come out, I lived with the paranoia that my entire hometown would find out and know me as the girl who got assaulted. You made my own hometown an uncomfortable place to be. Someday, you can pay me back for my ambulance ride and therapy. But you cannot give me back my sleepless nights. There are times I did not want to be touched. I have to relearn that I am not fragile, I am capable, I am wholesome, not just livid and weak.
I want to say this. All the crying, the hurting you have imposed on me, I can take it. But when I see my younger sister hurting, when she is unable to keep up in school, when she is deprived of joy, when she is not sleeping, when she is crying so hard on the phone she is barely breathing, telling me over and over she is sorry for leaving me alone that night, sorry sorry sorry, when she feels more guilt than you, then I do not forgive you. That night I had called her to try and find her, but you found me first. Your points of attack were so weak, so low, it was almost embarrassing. You do not touch her. If you think I was spared, came out unscathed, that today I ride off into sunset, while you suffer the greatest blow, you are mistaken.
We have all been devastated, we have all been trying to find some meaning in all of this suffering. You should have never done this to me. Secondly, you should have never made me fight so long to tell you, you should have never done this to me. But here we are. The damage is done, no one can undo it. Your life is not over, you have decades of years ahead to rewrite your story. The world is huge, it is so much bigger than Palo Alto and Stanford, and you will make a space for yourself in it where you can be useful and happy.
Right now your name is tainted, so I challenge you to make a new name for yourself, to do something so good for the world, it blows everyone away. You have a brain and a voice and a heart. You possess immense love from your family. That alone can pull you out of anything. Mine has held me up through all of this. Yours will hold you and you will go on.
Writing offense sex Clarification letter victim
I believe, that one day, you will understand all of this better. I hope you will become a better more honest person who can properly use this story to prevent another story like this from ever happening again. Now to address the sentencing. My statements have been slimmed down to distortion and taken out of context. I fought hard during this trial and will not have the outcome minimized by a probation officer who attempted to evaluate my current state and my wishes in a minute conversation, the majority of which was spent answering questions I had about the legal system.
The context is also important. Brock had yet to issue a statement, and I had not read his remarks. My life has been on hold for over a year, a year of anger, anguish and uncertainty, until a jury of my peers rendered a judgment that validated the injustices I had endured. Had Brock admitted guilt and remorse and offered to settle early on, I would have considered a lighter sentence, respecting his honesty, grateful to be able to move our lives forward. Instead he took the risk of going to trial, added insult to injury and forced me to relive the hurt as details about my personal life and sexual assault were brutally dissected before the public. He pushed me and my family through a year of inexplicable, unnecessary suffering, and should face the consequences of challenging his crime, of putting my pain into question, of making us wait so long for justice.
I told the probation officer I do not want Brock to rot away in prison. I did not say he does not deserve to be behind bars. I also told the probation officer that what I truly wanted was for Brock to get it, to understand and admit to his wrongdoing. I fully respected his right to a trial, but even after twelve jurors unanimously convicted him guilty of three felonies, all he has admitted to doing is ingesting alcohol. Someone who cannot take full accountability for his actions does not deserve a mitigating sentence. It is deeply offensive that he would try and dilute rape with a suggestion of promiscuity. The probation officer factored in that the defendant is youthful and has no prior convictions.
In my opinion, he is old enough to know what he did was wrong. When you are 18 in this country you can go to war. When you are 19, you are old enough to pay the consequences for attempting to rape someone. He is young, but he is old enough to know better. As this is a first offence I can see where leniency would beckon. The seriousness of rape has to be communicated clearly, we should not create a culture that suggests we learn that rape is wrong through trial and error. The consequences of sexual assault needs to be severe enough that people feel enough fear to exercise good judgment even if they are drunk, severe enough to be preventative. The fact that Brock was a star athlete at a prestigious university should not be seen as an entitlement to leniency, but as an opportunity to send a strong cultural message that sexual assault is against the law regardless of social class.
The probation officer weighed the fact that he has surrendered a hard earned swimming scholarship.