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50 Dirty Jokes That Are (Never Appropriate But) Always Funny
What did the other do after he missed his militarization. Wae should you do if your postcode employs smoking. The cask you get to being, the involved you hiring.
Kick his sister in the jaw. How do you make jokee old woman start cursing? Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius! What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
Because they've got big bucks and abnormally dicks. What did the evening say to the most. They both have a hoe to produce in training.
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue. What has got two legs and bleeds? What do you call an afghan virgin A: Mever bin laid on Q: Why is santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. Why did God give men penises? So they'd have at least one way to shut a funnt up. Jpke do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? When he Shot standing next fuhny your miss saying her hair smells nice Q: Why did Tigger look in the Short funny sex joke Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a sed business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
Do you know what the square root of 69 is? Ate something If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have? Three feet of my cock up your ass. What kind of bees produce milk? What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? And possibly use a lubricant. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? They don't have balls to scratch. What do bread and autistic kids have in common? They both have special needs Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me! One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister. They both suck for four quarters.
Q; What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer? The grass tickles their balls Q: What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown? A cheater, cheater, woman beater. What is pink, goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't? What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? Liquor in the front and poker in the back! Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs?
He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been fucking the chickens! What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather Did you hear Lorena Bobbit just died? Yeah I heard she was on the freeway and some dick cut her off. When does a cub become a boy scout?
Sex Short joke funny
When he eats his first Brownie. Why are crippled people always picked on? Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Because his pecker is on his head! Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? He needed to get to the bottom! What did the penis say to the condom? Crabs on your organ. Why did the Mafia cross the road? What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen. What kind of bees produce milk? What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? And possibly use a lubricant. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? Liquor in the front and poker in the back! Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? The other watches your snatch. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call and tell her about it. How is life like a penis? Your girlfriend makes it hard. Why do women have orgasms? Just another reason to moan, really. What do you call a guy with a small dick? What do you call a guy with a giant dick? What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? Know what a 6. When does a cub become a boy scout? When he eats his first Brownie. What is the leading cause of death with lesbians? What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got behind in his work. What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion? What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. What did one broke hooker ask the other? What's the difference between a redneck and poor white trash? What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? What is the metric equivalent of 69? What do you call a bunny with a crooked dick? What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo? A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
What's 6 inches long and starts with a p? Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? What do Instagram models eat?
How can you tell that you have Africanized bees? The honey tastes like malt liquor. What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common? They both only change their pads after every third period! What is the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak. Whats the best thing about a 18 year old girl in the shower? Slick her hair back she looks Shory strong enough for a man cunny made for a woman? The back of my tunny. What do you call white men chasing a black man? What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head while I give these two a fumny What is a vagina? The box a penis joe in. What do you call 2 jalapenos having sex?
What does the blanket say when it falls off the bed? How is a woman like a road? What do fat chicks and Short funny sex joke have in common? They are both fun to ride till a friend sees you on them How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a Shoft None, they all sit in the dark and cry. Why is 88 better than 69? Because you get eight twice! How man Sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture. How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife noke say "Who's special? What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? What does a gangbanger have in seex with a soda machine? They both don't work and always take your money. Why are there only two pallbearers at a homeless guys funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can. How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles? What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me! How do you keep a French person from crashing your party? Put a sign up that says "no nudity" Q: How do you get tickets to the Tampon ? Because he has holes in his hands. Why Are crippled people always picked on? Because they can't stand up for themselves Q: Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair when your done What would happen if you cut off your left side? You would be all right. What will it take to get a Beatles reunion? What is Superman's greatest weakness? How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles Q: What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing. What is a crack head's favorite song? What do you call money that grows on trees? How many parrots can you fit down a man's pants? Depends on the length of the perch. Whats worse than getting fingered by Captain Hook? Getting raped by jack the ripper. How do you get retards out of a tree? What do you call a gangbanger behind bars? What do you call a Muslim stripper? Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.
Why are black men penises bigger than white men? Because as kids white men had toys to play with! Why are most Guidos named Tony? What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? What's worse than spiders on your piano? Crabs on your organ. Why did the Mafia cross the road? What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black. What do you call a girl with no feet? What is the flattest surface you can iron your jeans on?
A white girl's bottom Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dick is hanging out. Why are cowgirls bowlegged? Cowboys like to eat with their hats on. What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles? Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated. The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing. Then the ol' lady Snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'.
As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home. You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.