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Looking back on it now, I have a sneaking suspicion that Kitty bought this book for herself. Some of the most important advice in I Like You has to do with host self-realization. We asked Sedaris what she thought was the most important thing for Mercury readers to remember when planning a party: But once you have cast your party and guests begin arriving, how do you know you're on the right track?
And if things look like they're going to turn out poorly? There are Prtland who believe that bringing drugs to a party is the surest way to make it a success. As for drinking, "I'm not a big drinker," she admits, "but I always have alcoholic beverages if someone wants a drink. I also always have non-alcoholic beer. Drinking too much is never a good idea, it can ruin a party.
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Sedaris suggests "music without words," going on to explain that "music can get too distracting. God forbid pantyjose butt should jiggle. Picture trying to hook those things up after gym class. Once hooked, you had these hard hooks pressing into your thighs all day and a gap between stocking and foundation garment that felt cold and weird. If the wind blew your skirt up, the whole apparatus showed.
Yeah, yeah, I know all about guys thinking stockings and garters are sexy. As my mother would say, bullfeathers. The first pantyhose arrived when I was in high school. But they were not exactly perfect. I have horrible memories of my pantyhose being so tight they split at the crotch or so loose they were falling down all day. We painted the runs with nail polish to stop them. With pantyhose, if you got a run in one leg, you had to throw the whole kit and caboodle in the trash. But they got better. Sizes became more reasonable, the material more durable, marketing more clever.
What happened to our legs that we suddenly decided bare legs were acceptable for more than beach parties and picnics?
Well, maybe not always, but after shattering my femur and fracturing my pelvis in a severe car accident, I was forced to wear blood clot socks worse than pantyhosewhich is when I swore to myself I would never wear panty hose again in my life! But, when I had an early retirement from MGM and started law school, I was able to trade in my panty hose and high heels for leggings and Uggs. I was hoping that somehow, someway I could forever put my pantyhose wearing days behind me. I knew better than to drink that cool-aid because being a lawyer is a noble and professional calling.
This means wearing business suits, dress shoes, and unfortunately panty hose. For the majority of this summer and into this school semester, I have worn panty hose daily. Not because I have to, but because I am preparing for my professional career.