Prevention of clergy sexual misconduct

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What Can You Do To Help?

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This may be a horrible experience for his children. To witness their father suddenly being transformed from a much Precention and admired pastor to cleegy public pariah can leave emotional scars that may never heal. In addition, clerg will lose their place within the congregation. Even if they eventually settle into a new fellowship, the knowledge of their fallen father may pursue the family, causing a continuing sense of public humiliation and ostracism. An incident of clergy sexual misconduct also brings long-term effects on the psychological and spiritual development of the children. One potentially affected area is sexual development. This poses grave difficulties for making future commitments, healthy conflict resolution, and intimacy.

But more tragic is the potential for them to become disillusioned with the spiritual resources they would normally turn to for counsel and comfort — their parents, especially their pastor-father, and the church. They could have handled that situation totally different.

I have no desire to go back. They suffer the repercussions the traumatic experience has on her. This, in turn, affects others. The pastor and his wife might stay together; but if the other woman is married, her marriage is less likely to weather the crisis. It probably was shaky before the sexual misconduct occurred. One spouse Prevention of clergy sexual misconduct this assessment of the situation: She may inadvertently view him as if he were that pastor. The husband of an abused congregant explains: If not, stay at home. The male-dominated church leadership has not taken this issue seriously enough. You and your children would be better, physically and spiritually, humming your favorite hymn in the mall on Sunday morning.

Left unbridled, sexual misconduct in the pastorate will bring disastrous results. It will confirm the skepticism of critics, turn seekers away from the doorway of the church, and leave the faithful disillusioned. It will stop the ears, dull the conscience, silence the Spirit, and from the human perspective, make the death of Christ irrelevant. We dare not fall. Our ability to live in accordance with biblical morality and to avoid illicit sexual activity is enhanced by a deep consciousness of who we are. This includes a personal identity that arises from a vital relationship to God in Christ and from a keen sense of vocation derived from a personal divine call to the ministry.

No one — not even a dedicated servant of God — is immune to the temptation of an illicit sexual encounter. Therefore, the pastor who wants to guard his moral integrity must come to grips with his own susceptibility. Susceptibility to sexual sin begins with attraction. We are sexual beings and are by nature sexually drawn to many persons. For this reason pastors may find themselves sexually attracted to a congregant. Left unchecked, sexual feelings can precipitate a powerful temptation to express that attraction through overt sexual acts. For this reason, the pastor must be cognizant of his feelings, honestly acknowledge the sexual attraction he senses, and confront at the onset any sexual desires that he develops for a congregant.

The need to fix everything In addition, their role as professional caregivers makes pastors special targets for sexual failure. The tendency shared by males in our society to want to fix everything is especially evident in male clergy. This mystique can be devastating.

It may render a pastor unwilling to admit that his personal skills have limits. He may not recognize when a counseling situation lies beyond his expertise. When this subtle pride combines with sexual attraction, the pastor is enticed to maintain a counseling relationship long after he has ceased to provide positive spiritual care to the congregant. The need to rescue The male mystique coupled with the pastoral office may lead a minister to become a rescuer. The rescuer goes beyond what is appropriate to help and assumes full responsibility for providing the solution to the sensed needs of another. Rescuer-pastors are susceptible to sexual failure because they are drawn to see themselves solely as healers, rather than as persons who also need healing.

The pastor who attempts to rescue every wounded soul yet ignores his own need for healing creates the potential for disaster when he cares for a broken and wounded female congregant. Teresa Tribe and Douglas Wilson capsulize the danger: He may find himself crossing over healthy boundaries and fulfilling his own personal needs by imagining that he alone is the one who can rescue this woman.

Misconduct sexual of Prevention clergy

The most crucial is his deep-seated insecurities. These emerge in the dual dynamic of unacknowledged sexual needs and power needs. His low self-esteem produces a sense of powerlessness, and he may attempt to bolster his self-esteem through the perversion of power he hopes to find in an illicit sexual liaison. The debilitating demands of the ministry and his need for affirmation — sometimes compounded by difficulties in his marriage — can combine to set him up for sexual failure that his caregiving relationship with a congregant provides occasion. Like other people, church leaders often carry deep wounds from their past.

The pastor who guards his moral integrity realizes the lure of forbidden sex may be a symptom of a need for healing for his own wounded sense of self. The need for support systems and accountability Where can a minister go to take the steps toward the healing he needs? These accountability structures take many forms. Marriage is one major aspect of accountability. In addition, when a minister senses he is susceptible to a sexual temptation arising out of a specific situation, he needs to consider forming an ad hoc support system consisting of one or more clergy peers or congregational leaders. Because of their wounded condition and client status in the relationship, counselees are often unaware of the importance of maintaining distance.

They are not always able to perceive when the boundary of proper intimacy has been violated. Consequently, the minister providing pastoral care must ascertain what constitutes the proper balance between closeness and detachment, and then maintain that balance when he is faced with the tug toward improper intimacy. Hence, in any caregiving relationship the responsible pastor must establish an appropriate and safe distance to avoid crossing the boundary into improper intimacy, and Prevention of clergy sexual misconduct ensure the effectiveness of the caregiving ministry.

At no time is maintaining appropriate distance more crucial than when the congregant evidences a sexual attraction for the pastor. This is the point in the counseling relationship that sexual exploitation is most likely to occur. Andrew Cole points out the forces at work in counselor-counselee relationships: The patient may view the clinician as the most kindhearted, stable, wise, reasonable, and calming presence he or she has ever met. Naturally, under these circumstances, the clinician becomes important to the patient and erotic experiences can unavoidably become part of the situation.

What policies, procedures, and initiatives will the church or parachurch organization institute to shield leaders and other staff members from circumstances that might make them vulnerable to temptation? How will these resources be used without violating the rights of employees and other workers? To whom, and in what form, should allegations of sexually inappropriate behavior be made? How will employees be informed of these procedures, and who will ensure that they are being followed consistently and equitably?

If allegations of sexually inappropriate behavior are made, how will these allegations be investigated? How will the accused be informed of the allegations, and what will be his or her status during the investigation? When and how will the accused be given an opportunity to respond to the allegations? What sanctions will be associated with particular kinds of inappropriate behavior? A second area where churches and parachurch organizations can and should avoid naivete is in their employee recruitment practices. And you want to create an atmosphere where a candidate feels safe sharing with you both his or her strengths and weaknesses in this area. Here is a really practical example.

I recently heard about a church that, instead of asking its potential employees whether they have ever looked at pornography, asked when was the last time they looked at pornography. This way of framing the question makes it easier for potential employees to be honest about past indiscretions, and, if they have no past indiscretions of this sort, they still have the option of saying so. One final point needs to be made about organizational naivete. So far, I have not seen a documented stance of a female minister engaging in sexually inappropriate behavior. For this reason, women should not be exempted from your screening processes and training programs simply because of their gender.

Realize That the Problem Is More Complex Than You Think Your church or parachurch organization cannot afford to be naive, but neither can it afford to underestimate the complexity of the problem faced by leaders who have engaged in sexually inappropriate behavior. The problem is not just the behavior itself; it is the underlying desires that motivated the behavior. I cannot speak for women, but we men tend to channel our desires for personal approval, social status, and power through our sexuality. If these dysfunctions are not dealt with, they will re-emerge—possibly in an even more destructive form.

What positive lessons can be learned from this summary of significant factors related to clergy sexual misconduct? First, ministers inclined to harass or abuse urgently need personal therapy. For them, the personal and professional risk of ministering to women is too great. He alone can turn an impending disaster into a life-giving moment. Warning Signs Knowing the warning signs of clergy sexual abuse can aid the prevention of it. Lebacqz and Barton insist that ministers should be aware of their boundaries and always seek to maintain those borders. Lebacqz and Barton have proposed a checklist of signals that warn ministers when they are headed for trouble: Is the minister doing a lot of counseling beyond his or her scope of responsibility?

Is the person not taking care of himself or herself, canceling vacations, neglecting time with family? Does the person tend to sexualize conversations?

Bell, Tor of Trust: Gates brain in prevention by emitting the majority of the event role, intact taboos of accountability for its contents, and very wise policies. Tarcher,.

Are mechanisms of accountability being ignored? Is lay leadership discouraged? Does everything in the church focus on the ot However, counseling across gender lines is an inevitable part of pastoral ministry. A better approach is to establish some necessary precautions which help prevent sexual misconduct. Guidelines for pastoral counseling usually stress: Grenz and Bell offer six warning signs which indicate boundaries are being violated: Accountability relationships offer a crucial antidote for misconduct.

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